Protecting Your Energy and Choosing the Right People
A few weeks ago, I picked up Thomas Erikson’s Surrounded by Vampires, mostly out of curiosity. I had already read his earlier work Surrounded by Idiots, which breaks people down into four color-based behavior types (Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue). But this one hit me differently.
Instead of being about how others think, this book is about how others drain. Erikson calls them “energy vampires,” the coworkers, clients, or even friends who leave you feeling like you just ran a marathon after a 30-minute meeting. They are the people who never seem satisfied, always need “a quick favor,” or find a way to make every problem yours.
As I read, I couldn’t help thinking about the corporate world, the back-to-back meetings, the constant context-switching, the personalities that fill every office or Slack channel. The truth is, we are all surrounded by vampires at some point. Learning how to handle them, and more importantly, how to build your circle of energy-givers, might be one of the most underrated professional skills out there.
The Vampires Among Us
Erikson describes three main kinds of energy vampires, and I could picture at least one from every job I’ve had.
Time Suckers are the meeting schedulers, the Slack-pingers, the people who always “just need five minutes” but somehow take fifty. They thrive on attention and urgency, and before you know it, your entire day is gone.
Energy Suckers are the emotional black holes. After every conversation, you feel drained because they have dumped their stress on you.
Soul Suckers are the ones who go beyond inconvenience. They chip away at your confidence. They criticize more than they contribute and make you question your worth.
You probably don’t need to work too hard to identify them. They might be in your inbox right now.
But what I appreciated about Erikson’s take is that he doesn’t stop at “spot the vampire.” He pushes you to understand why they act that way through the same DISC color model that made his earlier book famous.
Seeing People in Color: The Four Personalities
In Erikson’s framework, everyone leans toward one of four colors:
Red – Driven, decisive, and results-oriented. The classic “Type A.” Great for getting things done, but under pressure, they can become bulldozers.
Yellow – Charismatic, creative, full of ideas. They bring energy, but sometimes too much of it. Their optimism can morph into chaos.
Green – The calm, steady team players who hate conflict. They are loyal and dependable but can slip into passive resistance when uncomfortable.
Blue – The analytical perfectionists. They love data, process, and precision, but can stall momentum by over-analyzing.
Once you learn to see these “colors” at work, you start realizing that not all vampires are malicious. Many are just their personality type at its worst. A perfectionist Blue might micromanage you out of fear of mistakes. A talkative Yellow might dominate meetings without realizing they are draining the group.
That doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but it does offer clarity, and clarity is power. When you understand the motive behind someone’s draining behavior, you can manage it instead of reacting to it.
The Workplace, in Living Color
Reading Surrounded by Vampires felt like watching a highlight reel of every office dynamic I’ve ever seen.
The micromanaging perfectionist who rewrites your emails at midnight is definitely a Blue under stress.
The “let’s brainstorm for three hours” optimist who never lands the plane is your Yellow in overdrive.
The “sure, I’ll do it” teammate who ghosts the project until the deadline is a Green trying to avoid confrontation.
The bulldozer boss who calls the shots, cuts people off, and calls it “leadership” is a Red whose control reflex has taken over.
Once you see these archetypes, it’s hard to unsee them. But it’s also liberating because it lets you shift from frustration to strategy. Instead of saying “Why is she like this?”, you can think “She’s a Yellow. I’ll give her five minutes to share her ideas, then bring her back to the agenda.” Or “He’s a Blue. If I show him I’ve double-checked the numbers, he’ll relax.”
When you tailor your approach to someone’s color, you spend less time fighting personalities and more time getting things done.
Protecting Your Energy
Understanding the vampires is one thing; surviving them is another. The book reminded me of something I’ve had to learn (and relearn) throughout my career: your energy is your most valuable asset.
No one else will protect it for you. You have to set the boundaries yourself.
That means:
Saying no without guilt.
Ending conversations that go in circles.
Recognizing when you’re slipping into “rescuer mode” for a needy coworker.
Refusing to join the daily complaint club.
It’s not about being cold; it’s about being intentional. Every “yes” you give a vampire is a “no” to your own focus, creativity, or rest.
I’ve started doing what Erikson suggests: keeping a mental (and sometimes written) list of the people who give me energy versus those who drain it. And I consciously try to spend more time with the former. A ten-minute chat with an optimistic colleague can do more for your productivity than any time-management hack.
Choosing Your Circle Wisely
This is where the real lesson landed for me.
The book isn’t just about warding off negative people; it’s about inviting in the right ones. The “anti-vampires.” The energy-givers.
We all know who they are. The teammates who approach problems with curiosity, not cynicism. The mentors who challenge you without belittling you. The people who listen, laugh, and leave you feeling lighter.
Surrounding yourself with these people isn’t luck; it’s a choice. You can actively build a professional ecosystem that feeds your energy instead of draining it. Celebrate others’ wins. Recognize effort publicly. Spend time with those who fill your cup. The more you do, the less oxygen you give to the vampires.
Research even backs this up. Teams with positive cultures are measurably more productive. Oxford University found that happy workers are 13% more productive on average. It’s not magic; it’s energy management at scale.
Becoming the Light Source
Here’s the hard truth: sometimes we are the vampire.
I’ve caught myself slipping into negativity during stressful weeks, or over-critiquing when I thought I was just “holding the standard.” It happens to everyone. The key is awareness.
If you want to attract positive people, you have to be one. Energy-givers aren’t perpetually cheerful; they’re consistent, kind, and solution-focused. They leave every interaction a little better than they found it.
That’s who I want to be surrounded by, and who I want to become.
The Takeaway
Surrounded by Vampires isn’t just a book about difficult people; it’s a mirror for how we protect, or waste, our own energy.
I’ve started to treat my energy the way I treat my time: as something finite, precious, and worth defending. I’ve noticed that when I’m intentional about where I spend it, on meaningful work, on positive people, on myself, the vampires lose their power.
You can’t always choose who you work with, but you can choose who gets your energy. And when you start guarding that resource fiercely, everything else—clarity, motivation, even joy—follows naturally.
So the next time you walk into a meeting and feel your battery start to dip, remember: you have the garlic. Use it.
